Sunday, July 6, 2008

"What's left of your career now?"

I grew up loving, no, ADORING, Grease. Back in the day, I actually wore out one VHS copy from watching it so much. I overlooked its flaws (i.e. they literally throw around saran wrap for no reason during Greased Lightning) and embraced its triumphs, like the fabulous silver wigs during Beauty School Dropout. Because of Grease, I will always love musicals, no matter how tacky, melodramatic or unbelievable they may sometimes be.

With that being said, I HATED John Travolta in Hairspray. Every time I say that, people reply "But he was so good!" No, he really wasn't. I'm not by any means a Hairspray or John Waters mega-fan, but I stand firm in my belief that Scientology's #2 disciple (Tommy Girl being #1, of course) basically made a mockery of Divine's original character. He was supposed to play Tracy's mom, not some sort of over-the-top shebeast with a ridiculous and unbelievable voice. There's a difference between campy and cringe-worthy. It's like he thinks we're all just going to forget about Battlefield Earth because he put on a dress or two and pranced around.

Despite all of this, I'm on my way to owning all three of the newly-released Grease-inspired Barbies, as pictured. Only two more to go.

In conclusion, I would like to add that I LOVE: Scientology, L. Ron Hubbard, Tom Cruise, Suri Cruise, Katie Holmes, John Travolta, Jason Lee, and Xenu. Please don't come after me.
Grease is still the word,


Alicia said...

So I seem to remember you had a Grease shirt in high school. Did you really have one or have my drinking binges completely destroyed my long term memory?

P.S. The only Barbie you should even consider buying is the Audrey Hepburn one.

Hannah said...

omg, THANK GOD. I love Hairspray (of course) but JOhn Travolta was one of two low moments of the film for me. (The other was when they cut out the Van Tussles' part of 'You Can't Stop the Beat') Why didn't they get Harvey Fierstein?

I feel such relief knowing someone else thought Travolta sucked the big one in Hairspray. Thank you.