Thursday, January 31, 2008

Toxic Spears

Right now our beloved Brit Brit is in the hospital against her will. I hope she ends up getting some help and can turn back to the Britney we know and love. Lots of people are bickering with each other to be in control of her medical decisions, such as Osama "Sam" Lufti and her parents... honestly, I won't be surprised if Adnan and Kev get in on the "control Britney's life" game soon. Here is what I think needs to be done to "fix" Brit:

1. Put someone in charge of her that has nothing to gain from her. She has been her parents' cash cow for her whole life, Osama is her own personal Howard K. Stern, Adnan has sold photos of them, and Kevin is suing the shit out of her. I'm thinking we should let Brangelina adopt her. They are humanitarians, so they would love to help her, and they're always looking for new kids. They are already rich and famous, so they don't need Brit for any publicity.

2. Keep her out of the public eye for 6 months of so. During this time she can break her addictions to drugs and fraps (among other things) and work on getting back into shape for her music career (which can SO be resurrected, I have faith!). During this time, contact with her parents and her 3 leeching men will be prohibited as well.

3. During her time of being a Brangelina child and being in hiding, she can also work on writing her memoir. This will make her at least appear to be someone intelligent (she's obviously going to need a ghost writer, but people will ignore that). After her 6 months are over and her book is written, she can go on a book tour and give interviews out the wazoo. I think by then she will be able to tell who she should kick out of her life and who she should keep.

Does anyone know Brit? Tell her my plan and that I'm willing to do whatever I can to help!

xoxo (and this time that is directed to Britney, not our fabulous and loyal readers),
Lauren

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