Tuesday, December 4, 2007

He's Got 99 Problems and, Well, a Bitch MAY Be One of Them

As you may know, Jay-Z is a very well respected jigga around these parts. Seriously, he can do no wrong in my book. I can rap almost all of Can I Get A (What, What), and I am a white girl. And 99 Problems...what can you say about that song other than: perfection.

Since I like my boy Jay-Z so much, it worries me to see who he calls his lady friend. I like myself some Beyonce jams as much as the next person (Irreplacable comes up nearly everytime my friends and I give directions - go "to the left, to the left"), but she looks kind of like a robot; she is always dead in the eyes, as my girl Tyra would say. I also have a big problem with the way the girl dresses. She is really pretty and has a shitload of money, yet insists on wearing dresses that are a size too small for her. Or a size to ugly for...anyone, really. So Jay, I'm going to show you the things you have and you tell me which one is better, better, better, eh?


Your Current Girlfriend:

It's hard to tell because I couldn't get a bigger picture of her, but she looks a little like Shrek in that dress. You can tell it just doesn't fit her well at all. Disappointing.



Your "Protege" Rihanna:




First of all, I love her all metallic doing naked yoga or whatever in the Umbrella video. AND, she comes with the cutest puppy, ever. That's pretty much the only reason for posting that second picture; I'm in love with that freaking dog. Jay, you could have TWO hott bitches, instead of one that thinks the right way to wear clothes is to have them sewn onto her. I blame her mother and the House of Derierreon or whatever the hell her fashion line is called.
Thoughts? Why is Jay-Z with Beyonce instead of Rihanna? I really could not tell you, so I'm hoping somebody can tell me.
xoxo,
Lauren
ps - Sooperserial would like to thank Dave for his error catching regarding this entry.

4 comments:

Davey Boy said...

As sooperserial's #1 reader I am glad to help whenever possible.

Lex said...

Dave should be our honorary editor because he also pointed out a different error to me as well.

Anyway, I still like Beyonce better. Is that uncool? But I agree with you about a lot of her wardrobe choices.

Anonymous said...

Dude, you should leave Beyonce alone. Have you seen her American Express comercial? It's super hard being Beyonce. She can barely find time to buy her nephew a boomerang. And she's been to Madrid so many times but she's never SEEN Madrid. And sometimes, SOMETIMES, the heel of her shoe will break during dance rehearsal. Such a sad, horrible life she leads.

And Rihanna is super hot. She's so hot that she got kicked out of her cousin's wedding for showing too much side boob. Now that's hot.

sooperserial said...

Touche.