Friday, November 30, 2007

Hail Mary, Full of Nancy Grace

Stupid ass Nancy Grace has her twins at home with her now. They were both born premature and that boy one was taking all the girl one's food because she was like 2 lbs. or something like that. She blogs about her babies, I make fun of her blog:

"Am finally home with both twins and am so blessed. (Blessed right from Satan's himself, yes you are) Your prayers and kind thoughts are so powerful, thank you. I wish you could see the twins right now. Even in separate bassinets, they turn their heads the same way, make the same motions, the same sounds, the same expressions. (That is because they are babies and all babies do the same shit.) They are so bonded after being together for all those months. it makes me happy to know they will always have each other, I pray! (This is a little creepy. To always have each other, they will have to live the exact same amount of time. They both aren't going to die of cancer or AIDS at the same exact second, so Nan is basically hoping her kids die together in a freak accident. Nice sentiment, Mama Bear.) Being in the hospital for those two weeks was really something, but leaving the twins behind when I was discharged was the worst. (Yeah, that probably sucked, but I am still laughing at her discharge here.) Then, after John David came home, I could hardly stand leaving little Lucy there alone each day. I am the happiest person in the world now that we are all together again. They still quiet down when I sing to them, the same old songs. Today, I held them, alternating one then the other, for five straight hours! We spent the afternoon, them eating and sleeping, I just watched their faces. (Seriously? Creepy, right?) They look so much alike, Lucy just a miniature version of her big brother! (Each a smaller baby penis than the next... that was wrong. But seriously, she is a little baby female, they can't look exactly alike.) He is older by exactly one minute. (Exactly one minute my ass. I'm sure they were counting the exact seconds here.) I hope to introduce them to you when I come back to the airwaves if they are up to it. They are so tiny and fragile. I think you will love them too! What a Christmas this will be!! I still can't believe something so wonderful happened to me! (NEITHER CAN WE, Nancy...neither can we.) Dreams really can come true! Ngrace"

I was watching The Soup one day and someone called into Nan's show and was like, "Congrats on the babies, but it's not going to happen this time." Nan was like, wtf?!? And the lady was like, "Umm. I was just saying congratulations on being pregnant." It was the weirdest thing ever. Nancy was on Law & Order: SVU. She does not deserve an acting credit of the same calibur as ELLIOT STABLER...blasphemy, I freaking swear.

xoxo,
Lauren

source: Nancy's CNN Blog

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