Wednesday, November 28, 2007

All of You Put the "Ho" in Hogan

You know how they say that children of divorce often feel like their parents splitting up is somehow their fault? That's usually not true. Usually, parents split up because one of them has a trouser snake on the loose or someone caught jungle fever or something. There are a few cases, however, where the children are at fault, and I think they should be told about it.


To: Brooke and Nick Hogan
From: Sooperserial
RE: All Your Fault


Brooke & Nick,

It has come to our attention here at Sooperserial that you both contributed to your parents divorce in separate, yet equally harmful ways. Brooke - looking like a clown tranny in the face, having what appears to be the contents of your piggy bank on your teeth, and dressing like a 20 year old girl who was an ugly duckling as a child and now thinks she's super hot so she wears clothes that shows off her new & improved self. Sidenote: not so improved. And Nick - you didn't do much except PUT SOMEONE IN A PERMANENT COMA! Enough said. The combined stress of having to look at Brooke and having to fight Nick's legal battles has driven a wedge between your parents. They do not have the balls to tell you this themselves (b/c of the 'roids and the fact that your mother isn't actually a man - just kind of looks like one), so we figured we would do it for you. We have enclosed some photographic evidence of your offenses. Enjoy your time spending Thanksgiving with mom and Christmas with dad.

Love,
Sooperserial

ENCLOSURES:







xoxo,
Lauren
P.S. I'm in law school, but can I get sued for this? I hope not.

1 comment:

Davey Boy said...

Brooke Hogan has decided to put her recording career on hold for a while. This is basically because her recording career has already come to an end. Nick Hogan was dropped by his major racing sponsor before even officially signing with them. Technically the Hulkster is only paying child support to Linda to cover Nick's ass, but with how much money they go through, he better start selling a lot of grills and energy drink powered by socko!